I've been noticing some unconscious patterns in my conversations. Sometimes I reflexively say "I agree" without fully considering what was just said. Sometimes I automatically ask the same question I was just asked even though I don't care about their answer to the question. Sometimes I forget that I can share stuff about myself without being asked. I become more aware of these patterns when I shift out of the people pleasing state and relax into the pleasing myself state. I told someone about my question echoing moments after I did it and we laughed about it, it was fine. Noticing, noticing, noticing is the skill that grants access to the truth.
We have the wonderful ability as humans to hyperstition our own truths. If I tell myself that writing this essay is a chore then it would be a much different experience than if I tell myself that it's a game. Which is more true? That's entirely up to me.
For the longest time I've known that I enjoy the mountains more than the beach. But that truth got rocked by the most pleasant beach experience I've ever had. It was sunny but not hot with a gentle wind that kept me cool and relaxed and a trillion trillion soft and tiny rocks in shades of brown and tan. I had only known the beach to be harsh and oppressive, but this heavenly outpost cradled me with the utmost care.
I went into the water twice. During the latter trip I took time to appreciate the sensory buffet: the infinite blue and yellow rainbows shimmering on the water, the firm tugs of each wave on my body as they crashed and receded, the cold and salty ocean. The water's frigid bite felt good because I decided that it felt good. I treasured these sensations because I could not take them home with me. My beach day was all the richer because it was fleeting. Now I love beach.
What if things are always good? What if this had an elegant proof? Either things are good and that's good or things are not good and then they can be existentially kinked into being good. Like imagine relapsing on some unhealthy thing. You could kick yourself over it or you could say wow my self-sabotage here is a great opportunity for growth 😏 how exciting that I've fallen back into this pattern 😏 let's see what I do next. Either way of relating to the event could be true.
Working on ourselves and investing in ourselves builds strength and courage. The person who overcomes their inner resistance to go to the gym is stronger than the person who effortlessly goes to the gym. Resistance builds muscle: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. We get to earn our blessings, it doesn't feel quite right when they're dropped in our laps.
One might view life as a puzzle that asks what the present moment calls for. Noticing and hyperstitioning and overcoming resistance are three tools available to help answer that question. Collecting and describing and sharing these tools is a hobby of mine, it's one of the things I've consistently done in the half a decade I've been online. Doing this feels important to me because it's free access to heaven on earth. If what's easy for you is difficult for me and vice-versa, then of course we ought to share what makes things easy for us. We can nudge each other towards ease at scale. We can inspire each other and motivate each other. We can be a global village of helpers.
That's a truth I'm hyperstitioning, at least.